so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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