if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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