My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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