a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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