Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
