i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
