Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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