He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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