While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
