If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
