So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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