Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
