Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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