Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
