is your mom at the bar?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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