Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
