We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
