Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
These tits shall not be calmed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
