I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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