So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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