we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize