Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
