I molested 6 butterflies tonight
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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