the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
