I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
50% drunk capacity currently
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
