hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
