His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
