CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
