just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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