Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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