apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
