I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
