i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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