we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
