it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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