I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
