my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
