I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
