I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
smell my finger.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i believe in u and ur pee
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