Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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