both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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