I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
