There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We have so much sex to catch up on
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
this is an emotional support booty call
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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