you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
