Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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