I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
well you can't waste a boner
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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