Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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