I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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