Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
