please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
