I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
