She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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