My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel great
I just peed on a car
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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