Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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