It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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