My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
