she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
