so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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