call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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