I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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