Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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